the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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