Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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