Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
