She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
