I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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