he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
