i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
