then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
