I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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