every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
