Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
