Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
