This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
