I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
