This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
