i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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