Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
