I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
