guys are only as good as the porn they watch
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
