I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
