No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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