Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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