I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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