I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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