Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
