just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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