Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
