So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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