i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
