i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
