glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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