Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
