love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
