So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
