either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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