if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
