She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
