i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
