All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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