mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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