Porn is love you can see.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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