dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
