I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Is it because I queefed?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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