Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
