Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
