Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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