she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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