U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
