I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
