She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
