Pregnant stripper...not hot.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
