I want to walk on stilts...naked
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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