i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
