I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
