no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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