I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize