His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
