Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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