I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
