I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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