: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
