I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
