remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
