im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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