Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Randomize
