new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
