Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
