smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
